I’ve Fallen & I Can’t Get Up!!!

by The Mayor!

It’s exhausting being Martha Stewart Mommy to so many kids! Those moments when I’m practically falling over with hunger & exhaustion, while contemplating when exactly it was that I last peed, or showered, as I catch an odd whiff of something & realize it’s ME, are the same moments when I think maybe…just maybe…those lazy ass, totally neglectful parents have the right idea! I’m just sayin’…however, right about HERE is where anyone who knows me well, is already wondering who the hell I’m trying to kid. And they’re right, of course, I live for this sh**! A very crazed, & fun filled holiday weekend, juggling as many as 11 kids on my own, & an Sick funny quote image extra 3 that just never left at all from Friday afternoon until late Saturday night! Sadly, that was about the same time my own started dropping, to whatever nasty bug had The Diva down last week. Easter Morning found The Baby, after a long night of fevered tossing & turning, completely uninterested in coming down to see what the bunny had left for her. Passing up a chocolate breakfast is a sure sign of illness. After the morning spent cursing the dumb bunny & his muddy feet all over my house, & showing off the pictures I had captured of him hiding from me, (while attempting to hide my giggle fit when The One I Butt Heads With found the “tail fluff” & commented that it was EXACTLY the same as the “beard fluff” Santa left….& yet, God love her, never even questioned it….not the sharpest knife in the drawer!!), The Boy was also starting to feel under the weather. So with his new iPod Touch that he & The Easter Bunny had split on, he was content to lounge his lazy butt in his jammies playing with his new toy. Since I had already spent the last two days playing with this fab new tech toy, I was happy enough Exercise funny cartoon image to hand it over….for awhile. It was down to me & my 2 middle girls, with their new bikes, mucking for the better part of the afternoon. After running up & down the street for over an hour teaching The Diva how to ride hers now that she had moved up to a “big kid” bike, it became apparent that I am woefully out of shape….when I handed them my cell phone to call 911 to come get me up off the pavement….but the little brats refused, so I hijacked the new bike to ride myself home, & left them to hoof it.

Planning The Great Escape!

Sadly, the week ahead is not looking any calmer for The Mayor of Crazy Town. Monday has so far been spent fussing over sick kids, while I await a visit from my mother & my nieces. Tuesday is back to school, but I have to assume I will be extending our long weekend with rug rats still home in bed, interfering with my ability to run all the errands needing done after days of having everything closed, & leaving me to do them in the evening while running at least The Diva to cheer. Wednesday, it’s a long awaited adventure downtown, just me & my boy, to see the King Tut exhibit, while The Best Friend attempts to walk a mile in my Dancing cat funny gif image skull shoes, & juggle my girls all day, possibly with some home sick, & The Only Child of hers to still shuffle back & forth. Thursday & Friday I anticipate the hell hounds to drag me down to The Third Circle Of Hell after dodging them for far too long, along with the usual run through of housework before the weekend, while Friday night is a birthday party/sleepover at a friend’s for the boy & the cheer gym for the girls. Saturday I am triple booked, in one of those “things that make you go hmmmmm” kinda ways! The afternoon consists of a road hockey game, & BBQ dinner for my boy’s hockey team & the parents, then that evening, the Moms from our RIVAL hockey team are looking to hit the dance floor for a girl’s night out. Which the boy is struggling with a bit, since they are also the Moms from school….I think he’s worried his way cool, tattooed, totally rockin’ Mom will embarrass him….it’s highly possible…in fact, I may make it my mission for the evening! And hopefully, with the season over, this doesn’t make me a traitor to my own kid’s team! On top of that, is a house party the same Maxine funny escape cartoon image night that I was hoping to put an appearance in at. Thankfully, with hockey being over, Sunday I am down to an hour at the cheer gym with The Baby, & if all the stars align & my birthday wish finally comes true, I’ll find my chance to make good my escape from Crazy Town once & for all….now where’s my damn passport??!! Just in case I find that open window….