Let’s Begin At The Beginning…

by The Mayor!

Did You Miss Me??!!

Don’t you be gettin’ all lippy with me dudes! As Mayor of this here town, it’s my prerogative to dispense my Mayoral duties as I see fit…even if it means ditching them altogether for the dog days of summer! That being said, I find it rather gratifying to know I’m not the only one…you know who you are. In the meantime however, I find myself with so many tales to tell, I hardly know where to begin! So I’ll begin at the beginning…

Bottles of beer on the wall

Here’s How It Went Down…

As I set out to venture past the Edge of Reason & the Brink of Insanity for yet another week at the cottage beyond the reach of civilization, it occurred to me that despite escaping the trappings of the “modern world”, I had not, by any stretch, escaped Crazy Town. I’d simply packed it up & brought it along for the ride. The realization may have come to me as I sat broken down at the side of the road in the middle of nowhere with 4 small children. Or maybe it was when that eagerly awaited e-mail announcing the winners for the Famous Bloggers/Comment Luv contest came in just prior to losing cell service for the week, & despite the excitement of finding my name amongst the winners, the amounts won would be posted “shortly”, thus I still wound up being kept in suspense for days. But if you’ve read along with me long enough, it should come as no surprise that the Griswold moments would hit just by virtue of having stepped foot outside my door. Such is the nature of the curse…it’s a stain that no amount of scrubbing can ever seem to remove. But I digress…back to sitting at the side of the road. I had pulled off a busy two lane highway for yet another potty break for small child. Doesn’t matter which one, the sheer number of kidlets makes it a common annoyance on long trips & I have neither the time nor inclination to dig up an actual toilet every frikkin’ time. Thus it was that I was once again parked half way in to the bush along some back country road & in the 2 minute process of whipping a kid in & out of the car for a pee, my battery had decided to screw me. Fine, whatever, screw you too…I got this. So I head off up the road with a string of kidlets & we meander our way to the nearest gas station. Thankfully the sight of an extremely attractive woman in distress can easily garner willing young men anxious to do their civic duty & help their fellow citizen. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the four adorably bedraggled children dragging along behind me, nope, un-uh, nothin’ at all. With my truck getting the boost it needed, I’m now on my cell trying to determine if the one town left to pass through before reaching the edge of civilization would have a Canadian Tire open at 5p.m. on a Sunday…it did not. Choosing not to spend the night sleeping in the car waiting for said Canadian Tire to be open, I chose instead to carry on to my destination…on a wing & a prayer. Foolish, yes, given the lack of phone service, people, or another car battery with which to boost mine. However, I’m a smart woman, I was certain I was dealing with the battery rather than the alternator & figured if I made sure to start the truck once or twice a day, it was likely I’d get it home again at the end of the week…& there was a small part of me that really could have cared less if I wound up stuck in my happy place…there are worse places to be. Sadly, someone would find us eventually anyways.

Between Heaven & Hell

But Wait, There’s More!

And it will have to wait for another day…since the “more” truly deserves a post all it’s own. However, since I know you’re just dying to hear the final outcome for The Mayor & her winning contest entry, I eventually…fine, I pulled over & checked the second I reached a signal again on my trip home…discovered that I had won $100 for my “validate each other” post…how wonderfully validating! And I couldn’t have done it without the support of this tremendous community, so thank you for showing me the LUV!

Signed,

The Mayor!