Sittin’ On My Ass…

by The Mayor!

Queen of multi tasking funny cartoon image mom kidseating bon-bons & watching my stories…NOT…especially with FOUR ankle biters under my care!! This is for those of you who have no grasp whatsoever just what it is us stay-at-home Moms do, day in & day out….aside from our bon-bons & stories! To quell those vicious rumours that we “have it so easy”, here is a small samplingSupergirl funny cartoon image of 4 or 5 typical days for The Mayor, & as a girlfriend pointed out, “CAPE DON‘T FAIL ME NOW!”…so try to keep up…I dare ya!

Daily, without fail, regardless of anything else going on, coming up, or my own state of mind or health, 24/7 for almost 13 years now….(no vacations, babysitters, or time off in Crazy Town!)

-Tending to meals/snacks…for ALL the animals, 4-legged & 2-legged!

-Interacting with/playing with/helping out 4 kids throughout the morning, noon & night, & getting them in & out the door a dozen times a day for school & activities

-Dishes, dishes, & MORE dishes

Funny parenting cartoon image baby mom-Handling any phone calls, e-mails, & all the social networking & “housekeeping” (literal & figurative) involved in running both Crazy Town’s, (real & virtual!), for any & all residents

-Do any & all homework with 3 school kids

-Pack snack bags, & lunch when necessary, for school

-Go through & sign agendas, correspondence, forms, tests, gather equipment, money, supplies etc. etc. for school

-Choose outfits for school

-Work…lap top….shoot me now

Friday:

-Filed our taxes….I say “ours” because I have done this job for the household for the last 13 years, though I will admit, it has gotten MUCH easier once e-file arrived on the scene & removed most of the math for me…however, the task still involved a total of 4 or 5 hours to complete, & The Dad would be lost trying to do it

-Grocery shopping

-Bank

Mom cartoon strip funny parenting kids

-Washed & prepped 3 cheer uniforms…separately, so as not to mix them up, & by hand, since they are bejewelled, including packing their bags for: hair, socks, clothes for over their uniforms, cheer shoes

-Packed lunches, snacks, & water bottles for everyone for the day of competition

-Filmed the kids, since they went completely & spontaneously insane, all at once, for my 1st Vlog…& some great “birth control talk’Sleep is for sissies funny quote image material in a few years

-Showered 3 girls, & did their hair for cheer

-Worked on Crazy Town until 3 a.m….editing together said Vlog! Since the ability to hear myself think doesn’t tend to come until all the rug rats are down for the night, I am often up working until 2 or 3 a.m…..computer time prior to them going to dreamland, when I’m not allowed to be left alone or have any quiet, is spent building the site, something I AM able to do with bleeding eyeballs, an ice pick in my brain, & constant interruptions

Saturday:

-Up at 6 a.m. for Cheer Regional’s (because an arena packed to the rafters with screaming girls is JUST what I need after 3 hours sleep!), get uniforms on & hair fixed, curled, & ribboned, for all three, a 45 min. drive in the snow, & drop the girls to their coaches at 8:30 a.m.

-Cheer for The Baby & her Tiny Team as they go on to become Regional Champs (WHOOOO HOOOOO!), & my big girls take 3rd, after losing a team member to injury on the practice mat just prior to performing….but still a pretty respectable placing, & thankfully the injured cheerleader will be fine!

Crazed Mommy on board funny cartoon image-Boot home to get The One We Screwed Up to hockey practice later that afternoon

-Squeezed in a nap with The Baby….YEAH BABY!

-Headed out for the night to escape the same 4 walls of Crazy Town & the 4 little rug rats that live there to hang with The Best Friend, & bust some moves….& got to bed at 3 a.m. again!

Sunday:

-Up at 8 a.m., & at the rink by 9 a.m. for the boy & his playoff hockey game. Not only did he WIN DAMMIT, but the team was down 4-0 at the end of the 2nd period, & it was MY BOY’S GOAL that turned the tide & brought them back to a 5-4 win!! SWEET…but far more stress than I need at my age!

-Home for lunch, then prep The Baby & head back out to the cheer gym for her practice

-Shuffle everyone through the shower for schoolFunny cartoon kids family image quote

-Download photos from the weekend

-Try to squeeze in watching Olympic GOLD for Team Canada (another very stressful hockey game!) & closing ceremonies, while I try to do some writing for the site!

Monday:

-Sorted & tidied the entire house from the weekend…no easy feat when 5 of them have free reign for 2 days…frikkin’ inconsiderate slobs!!

-Dusted, vacuumed, mopped all of Crazy Town, including the bedroom suburbs

-Cleaned the piggie cage….because so far not one of those yard apes that wanted the pet has come anywhere near this chore

-Three loads of bedding through the laundry, stripping/making beds

Funny motherhoos cartoon image 7 dwarves-Scrubbed down 2 bathrooms that those same slobs use & never ever ever ever ever ever ever have cleaned…EVER!

-The above housework took me 8 straight hours….with a four year old underfoot & the bigger brats in & out, seemingly enjoying watching me slave away over their mess, as I once again ponder why ONE person, who makes little to no mess, does ALL the work for SIX people

-Debate hitting the liquor store to calm my annoyance, but know if I leave I may never return to Crazy Town at all

Tuesday:

-Paid the bills

-Played phone tag to book hotel rooms for Cheer Nationals coming up

-Ordered tickets online for another upcoming event

-More laundry

-Planned & mapped out Cheer Provincials out of town this coming weekendCat funny cartoon image, taking me on another road trip out of Crazy Town at 5 a.m. Sunday morning

-Bank

-Grocery store

-Grand & Toy for printer ink for the numerous projects due for “end of term” in school…that I will likely wind up typing & printing out

-Pet store for the 4-legged slobby brats

-Cleaned out the fridge (which, despite doing once a month or so, still gets so disgusting that I swear there are things living in there by the time I get to it again, & contains enough leftovers to feed a small country…part of the problem there is that there is rarely enough left over to feed all of Crazy Town again, so I‘m required to make a whole new meal each night while the meals from prior nights build up in my fridge, grow legs, & revolt against me!)

Funny food cartoon image-Cheer practice

-Download & burn music for the boy’s music project…in which he has to form a “dance troupe”, & make up a dance performance with a few other boys…likely while he’s praying for the floor to open up & swallow him…& apparently the other Moms aren’t “cool enough” to be able to burn them their tunes…yeah, cause I’m falling for THAT one

-Repeat the process for The One I Butt Heads With when HER classmate calls at 8:30 p.m. to tell MY kid she needs to bring music in in the morning for THEIR presentation…does NO ONE know how to burn a frikkin’ CD besides me??!!

So while the rest of you sit on YOUR asses, secure in the knowledge that everything will be totally & completely taken care of for you, take a moment to think of the wives & mothers who make all of that possible…look at the tidy room you’re sitting in, the cup in your hand, the clothes you’re wearing, the food in the fridge (legs or not!) & on your plate (that might have legs if you‘ve pissed me off!), the TV & lights that are working, the birthdays & activities that you just show up to, the pets that are alive, the luggage that’s packed, the car that’s clean,Funny maid family cartoom image quote the backpacks that seem to just magically have everything you need when you open them, the family & friends that still talk to you & invite you over because someone maintains those relationships…& realize that there are no fairies, there is no wave of the magic wand, there’s no housekeeper named Helga…there’s only Mom. So before you pass judgement on just how easy she has it, take a break from all your TV watching, game playing, computer staring, & say….gee thanks Mom, sorry I’m such a selfish, inconsiderate slob & never really thought about it….then kiss her feet, buy her some diamonds, & do something for yourselves for once! As for those Moms who pull double duty working outside the home, or as a single parent, I’d suggest out & out grovelling…& putting them on the next flight to Margaritaville.  We’d ask you to walk a mile in our shoes, just to help hammer home the point, but we burn through them so fast you’d never make it that far!! Why do you think women need so many pairs of shoes??!!

Signed,

The Mayor!

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Lanita Moss March 4, 2010 at 11:15 am

Amen, Sister!

NiNi Brown October 4, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I LOVE IT (now reconsidering the “stay-at-home-mom” thing. I might want to go back to work!) LOL!

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