The Third Circle Of Hell….

by The Mayor!

Maxine funny cartoon spring cleaningWell, another week draws to a close, & for once, I know the weekend isn’t going to disappear in the blink of an eye…because it’s also the start of March Break! And though I don’t have any specific plans in mind for the brats, I’m just happy to put aside the day to day chaos & routines to enjoy the time hanging out with them. We typically dig up a few things to do, depending on weather & availability of friends, but with 4 of them, they rarely get bored just being at home. They even appreciate the chance to relax & sit around in their jammies, playing…fighting….whatever… with their siblings all day. Go figure, huh??!! As for me, it’s often a good time to get to that really sucky chore of spring cleaning the closets. I find it goes much quicker with the kids around for me to be able to toss sh** at them to see if it still fits or fits yet, as I plow through the mounds of clothing in this house. Given the change of seasons, & the rug rats growing like weeds in between, the time has come, whether I like it or not….definitely not.

The Logistics Of It All….

We have been cursed with one of those cubby hole hall closets that I can’t imagine would even fit 2 peoples outdoor wear, never mind 6. So I actually unload & reload this closet twice a year. Winter gear is stored in the basement through the summer, & vice versa. I know, really frikkin’ annoying!! And it’s time for snow pants, coats, & the ever multiplying pile of bedraggled hats, mitts, single mitts, & scarves to find a home in the bottomless pit that is our basement. From there, the boy is first on the list, since he has gone through two major growth spurts in the last 6 months so most of his clothing willMaxine cleaning funny cartoon image need to be shuffled out. Half of his closet is taken up by dresses for lack of household closet space (that‘s our story & we‘re stickin’ to it!), so his summer clothes are also stored away through the winter, & I’m betting will all need to be replaced regardless. The Best Friend is going to be getting quite a pile for The Single Child…that she will have to store in her own bottomless pit until he grows in to them…better hers than mine! Then it’s on to the girls, which is a soul crushing, mind numbing task with 3 of them….each has 10 times the amount of clothes as the boy does….& it only gets worse with the passing years, more clothes, & bigger clothes! I usually start with The Baby, (you know, the kid who’s always naked anyways!), since she too is still obviously growing quickly at her age, & anything she has outgrown can simply find its way right out the front door, thank you very much! Next it’s The Diva….she is the clothes horse, & likes to give me a fight on some of my “keep or toss” decisions, regardless of how it fits or what shape it’s in. I tend to go through her things WITHOUT her input, making a separate pile for what I need her to try on, passing down what is still suitable to pass down, (since it‘s already been through two of them, sometimes more, if it was passed to me in the first place!), & bagging the rest before she has a chance to bitch about it. Last but not least is The One I Butt Heads With, who is so teeny tiny slender that I never have a clue what will fit her…most of what should, falls to her ankles when she pulls it up. This is the child I have to consciously buy elastic waist bands for, or that awesome new invention of the adjustable waist. She often has clothes from her closet that were never worn, completely due to the fact that she has no waist at all to hold it up, & by the time it DOES fit her waist, it’s far too short or tight everywhere else. Bearing in mind that all 3 girls have one closet to share, (now the dresses in the boy’s closet make sense, right??!!), they too have their seasons swapped out & stored in between.

Shoot Me Now!

Hell funny cartoon imageWhat this means for me is that a plain old sucky task becomes a horribly time consuming, I’m trapped in the Third Circle of Hell, kinda task. Oh it starts innocently enough, with that hole in the wall the builder labelled a hall closet. But by the time I have gone through every closet, drawer, & shelf in the house, I’ve already likely spent a week straight, if not more, poking away at it all, with the house torn apart in the process. THEN it’s down to the basement to dump all the packed up stuff, & haul up all the summer bins. Which starts me right back at the beginning, sorting for sizes, that outfit I know this kid will never wear but maybe the next one might, or that outfit that’s just too beat up for me to squeeze one more kid out of. Then there’s the magic involved in making it all fit somewhere….which of course, I am NOT frikkin’ magic, so it just doesn’t. Throughout the process, everything “going” is sorted in to bags for friends, bags for Goodwill, & bags with the clothes that no one in their right mind would ever put their rug rat in, unless they really really hated them, & were looking for them to get their asses kicked on the playground. ThenMaxine spring cleaning funny cartoon these bags sit in the upstairs or front hall, sometimes the garage, with all the other junk that’s mocking us, waiting for us to shrivel up & die so our kids will be forced to come along & take care of it all. Finally, as I emerge from the fire & flames of The Third Circle Of Hell, it’s off with my master list to shop for everything each kidlet now needs that I did not manage to salvage, dig up out of the bottomless pit, or pass down from another. This will ALWAYS include shoes for every one of them…shoes just don’t make it as hand-me-downs in Crazy Town…but, by the same token, I don’t think I have bought a coat of any sort in 10 years….they seem to make it through all the girls, & my “brotha from anotha motha” passes that kind of thing down to the boy, so he is always covered too thank goodness! And just when I think it’s all said & done, & I am enjoying a glass of wine in celebration of having escaped with my sanity somewhat intact, I make the mistake of blinking….& the calendar is screaming at me to do it all over again! That calendar is really asking for it these days…..

Signed,

The Mayor!

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Lanita March 12, 2010 at 9:04 am

Man, I’m tired already…and I just got up! Cleaning the girls closets is my least favorite job. So I recruit my mother…who loves this kind of s*#t and she organizes everything, makes sure the girls can wear the clothes, and packs up the rest in my basement. Please don’t hate me.

BTW, I’ve awarded you a Bloggy! Go check out my site and read all about it!

The Mayor! March 12, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Hmmmm…I’ll try not to hate you….MY mother is in Florida right now…I may hate her! I wish I had someone in my life who actually loved this sh**….& imagine, The Dad is a Materials & Logistics/Inventory specialist, spends his life making warehouses run efficiently….would seem to me this kind of crap is right up HIS alley, no??!! LOL! Maybe if I put a sign on the front door….You are now entering the warehouse….he may be compelled to put his skills to work in Crazy Town!

And THANK YOU soooo much! I am so excited to win my very first award, you rock Lanita!!! And so does your blog BTW!!

:-D

Lanita Moss March 12, 2010 at 12:57 pm

I like the idea of posting a sign on the front door. It might work, or at least open a dialogue. I’m all about opening dialogues today… And you can hire organizational experts. They are all over reality TV, but then if your husband is one…maybe you should just recruit him.

Bridgette Groschen March 12, 2010 at 11:13 pm

Hi there! Just popping in to follow your blog on Friday Follow. Hope you can visit mine!

Bridgette Groschen
The Groschen Goblins
http://www.groschengoblins.com/

Nicole Johnson March 12, 2010 at 11:30 pm

Happy Follow Friday

Following You From…
http://bizzimommi.blogspot.com

Hope You Come By!

Xmasdolly March 12, 2010 at 11:39 pm

Happy Friday Follow, following you. Hope you can find time to stop by me, maybe enter my give-away! Nice to meet you.

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