Mom vs. Herself…

by The Mayor!

inner demons funny imageThe biggest thing I’ve learned as a parent, is the biggest thing I struggle with the most as a parent. Because it demands that I engage in a constant inner struggle with the very fabric of my being. Here’s the lesson…BEFORE I give in to my immediate reactions, stop & ask myself: are MY opinions/actions/decisions what’s best for THEM?? It’s usually not…thus the struggle. Having to back down, bite my tongue, stay out of it, go with the flow, often requires a massive dose of happy pills & a complete avoidance of the situation lest I snap & go all stabby on someone. Case in point…school. ‘Cause ya gotta know with four kidlets, it’s not bloody likely that I’d get through the year clean, no matter how much I love our school, & no matter how fantastic my kids are. And I knew, from the moment I found out who this one teacher would be, that this would be where the trouble came from this particular year. And Holy Mary Mother of God, it’s started already, a mere week in to it.

Here’s What Happened…

So, my oldest daughter celebrated her 10th birthday last Thursday. Given my own crazed existence of late, along with the sudden surprise onset of yet another ridiculously strange illness for me, I was trying to cram in her celebrations where ever I could. This led me to pull her out of school the afternoon of her birthday in order to have lunch with her cousins & my mother. A note was sent in the day before to inform the teacher she’d be spending the afternoon with her grandmother for her birthday, & after the morning in class, we spent a busy day engaging in birthday activities. Then it was a family dinner, run The Diva to cheer, & cake & presents planned for her return, around 7:30 in the evening. Bear in mind that I myself was dead on my feet by this point, & since I wound up at the walk-in clinic first thing the following morning, I now realize I was also running a fever…which could explain how stoned I had felt all day. As we await the return of The Diva, I busy myself with the school tasks to prepare for the next morning. Imagine my surprise to discover homework…a lot of it…FOR THE BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!! Is this woman frikkin’ kidding me????!!!! I ask the birthday girl, WTF?? She says because she was away for the afternoon, she had to do her journal entry AND, her worst subject, a math sheet, TWO sides worth of long ass questions…due the next morning.

Here’s What I Wanted To Do…

Sadly, once again for the benefit of my children, I’m unable to share that with you. It’s come to my attention that far more people I know than I ever realized, are reading Crazy Town on a fairlyhead exploding funny image regular basis…best I keep my psychopathic tendencies under wraps in a situation such as this. That being said, it IS safe to say my blood was boiling, & it had nothing to do with the fever. So after I dug my fingernails out of the palms of my hands, pried open my clenched teeth, & composed an extremely nasty note in my head with more than a few choice expletives before my head had a chance to explode…

Here’s What I Actually Did…

I sat down with my daughter & calmly suggested she get the journal done before her sister came home, so that we could put it behind us & have cake & presents. I found The Boy & told him to sit & help her with the math sheet. She, of course, lost her sh**, so while I struggled to maintain mine, I explained through my once again clenched teeth, that I understood, I agreed it wasn’t the kindest or fairest thing for her teacher to do, but that it was only the first week of school & my causing trouble with this teacher this early on would only serve to make HER school year more difficult. Admittedly, it is also these situations that my parental side attempts to remind my maternal side that it’s not always a bad thing to teach my brats that life isn’t always fair…we have to meet our responsibilities whether we like it or not…after all, some day she may have a boss, & chances are, they won’t give a sh** if it’s her birthday either. My maternal side, however, figures she’s just a kid, & since she’s MY kid, I told her we were all going to pitch in & help her get it done so that she wouldn’t catch trouble the next day…since we were waiting on her sister anyways, let’s just plow through it & put it behind us. Of course, it’s never that easy with this child, & in the end, The Dad had to go through the math one teaching math funny imageby one with her, & then wound up just doing half of it…happy birthday to her. However, he was no more pleased than I was that she’d been given what was closing in on two hours of homework on her birthday, & neither one of us were willing to have our daughter’s special day ruined by this teacher…now that it was after 8 pm, still no cake or gifts, & she was now crying.  Sadly, I knew from experience that even if I had written her a note getting her out of the homework, my daughter would have suffered the consequences, which could include staying in at recess to do the work & being given a “Think Paper” to write, expressing why her actions were wrong & irresponsible…funny, in all his years it was this teacher who gave The Boy his first & only Think Paper. Then I would have made a phone call, the teacher would refuse to budge & we’d have set a nasty tone for a school year that has barely begun. With 9 months left to go, I’m just not ready to go there yet…there may be bigger battles ahead, ones worth the fight. And each & every time, I’ll be forced to ask myself…are MY opinions/actions/decisions what’s best for THEM?? I think I did the right thing this time around…but Ischizophrenia funny fear the day will come with this teacher. Until it does, I will continue to add to my Library of Congress sized database of unsent written rants, aimed at anyone & everyone who has ever wronged my children. This database has been willed to them, so that one day they might know just how much their mother loved them…& why she wound up completely schizophrenic, waging constant inner battles to keep her mouth shut, fighting against the very fabric of who she was…always trying to do what was best for them.

Signed,

The Mayor!

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Pamela September 20, 2010 at 10:15 am

I hate to say it, but don’t you just have a whole new appreciation for your own mother? I mean, I used to think she was just born crazy, but now I know how it happened. And I’m not gonna lie – it frightens the bejesus out of me, cause I’m half-way there myself!
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Lisa September 20, 2010 at 11:47 am

Ahhhh yes, the homework issue. I was recently wondering if the homework my second grader brings home is actually for him, or me…because I spend just as much time doing it!

Thanks for the laughs, I feel your pain!

Sandra September 20, 2010 at 1:02 pm

You really do deserve to be commended! I know right, doesn’t feel that good. Losing your shit on the teacher would feel way better. Hold it in dear girl, it’s not worth it…not yet anyway. Save it. The day will come when you will be justified in your actions.
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jessica September 20, 2010 at 1:09 pm

Oh My Word! That teacher really sounds like a bully!! Maybe the genius could have sent half that work home the night before, you know, after he got the note saying she was gonna be absent!!! I think you did good!
And, I have no other way to contact you, but had a Q for you!
Just curious…
I’ve been afraid to ask ANYONE at all, because I have such a shabby lil blog… but would you be willing to guest post for me next week for this Blog Hop thingy? I am shy when it comes to reaching out! :)
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The Mayor! September 20, 2010 at 2:58 pm

Pamela, you do have a point…but for my Mom, it was the opposite! Her true nature is NOT cause any waves, & I recall her often stepping up for me (cause I caused a lot of shit!), when I know it was waayyyy hard for her to speak up!

Lisa, I’ve done more homework in the last ten years than I did my entire school career! Yet, somehow, I got way better grades then as opposed to now…what’s up with that??!!

Sandra, sadly holding it in often leads to holes in my walls…it’s really the oddest phenomenon! ;-)

Jessica! OMG, I am so flattered & humbled, I would be honoured! Email the details to crazytownmayor@live.ca & we’ll get it worked out! Thnx so much for including me! BTW, you had a brilliant idea, why DIDN’T they send it home the night before since they knew she’s be away…for a whole 3 hrs of class…??!!

:-)

allison September 20, 2010 at 5:05 pm

Thanks for the LAUGH? This is so not funny! I wish I hadn’t read this because I am not going to be rageful on your behalf all night. Seriously — do you not think a conversation with the principal is in order, considering this is a well-established pattern of behaviour? Or are you just afraid things will get worse? I think you did make the right call (admiration) but god, how hugely sucky and what a douchebag unclassy bitch from hell (I don’t think anyone I know reads your blog. And I’m pissed!)

Stacy September 21, 2010 at 1:51 am

I’ve had this kind of teacher before. What I don’t understand is their point of view. You can’t tell me that constantly causing problems so that they HAVE to deal with angry parents all of the time is fun!!! What the heck. They can really alter a childs view of school which is sad because sometimes it can make the kids give up on school! Come on you teachers out there! Make it fun, inspire our young minds that we lend to you every day! Make it interesting, make the kids want to ask questions! If you don’t want to do that….RETIRE and let some young enthusiastic teacher have the job!!!! Ok I feel better now lol ;)

themombshelter@gmail.com September 21, 2010 at 4:34 pm

I agree with Allison (as per the usual) total douchebagey thing to do. And who gives math worksheets anymore?! Also if an adult has to help them figure it out, then it is not appropriate to send home as homework. Homework is for the independent practice of skills that have already been learned. Just sayin.
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Stephanie Wright September 22, 2010 at 4:47 pm

Hey there, soul sister. Fighting yourself is usually a losing battle but sometimes you can adjust the “crazy” to fit the situation. In my situation, I’ve passed my goofy love for 80’s music, making up stupid songs for no reason and dancing wildly in the kitchen when no music is playing on to my sons. I let out my frustrations by being exceedingly ridiculous and making the kids laugh. It’s a glorious tonic. Hugs to you.
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Tracy September 27, 2010 at 4:00 am

Hey T! Don’t grind your teeth too much, it will result in way too many headaches. Unfortunately I have done that for way too many years with my oldest son’s teachers. It has only been recently that I have learned to get along with “them.” It is a very hard thing to do, especially when they treat your kid so unfair. Gotta love those math sheets btw, I have spent too many nights trying to go over them with my boy. I usually end up loosing my patience and his father has to finish it up. Hope the year gets a bit brighter with the teacher hun :O)

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